Ultimate Showdown: the world's best music video ever?

Is Ultimate Showdown the best music video ever? Sadly, no. That honour goes to that music video by Guns 'n' Roses where the chick gets married and it lasts a billion years. Purple Rain? I can't remember. Anyhow, be sure to check out this video to see the world's greatest heroes fighting each other to the death. Included: Optimus Prime, Chuck Norris and perhaps the greatest hero of them all, Tobias Fumke, the man inside us all.
Classified under: flash,music videoes

Mother offers anal cherry for an X-Box 360

And a friend of my on the net takes her up on that offer(*note must sign up to view). I will however show the post of what was said of the whole affair:

Aiight, like dude said, we roll over there and shit is nice. Like real nice. I didn't know Sandy Springs was THAT nice.

She answers the door. She's hot. Like real hot. I didn't know she was gonna be THAT hot.

Anyway, we're let in and she has xboxes just laying around her living room. She was sayin' how since people were selling them to her instead of the offer, she figured she'd stockpile and sell more. Apparently she'd sold some already, so she just kept it moving.

Now, me being the shrewd whitey that I am, I'm like "Yo, a deal's a deal. I didn't come all this way just to have you pay me for the xbox. I can ebay it too. Fuck that". I say that half joking. She's like "No no, you're right. A deal's a deal." She looks at my boy and is like "Would you like a drink? Here, have a seat and watch TV."

He looks at me kinda bug eyed and she shows him to the lil' mini bar in the corner. He proceeds to pour something and she takes my hand and leads me into the bedroom.

She had all these different types of lubes and shit like that. Stawberry kiwi flavored oils and shit. I'm like "yo, where's the anal ease? They make that right?"

She just looked at me and laughed. I really thought that's what the shit was called.

The thing that fucked with me is that I'm sick. Real sick. Like so sick I shouldn't be doing shit sick. And I was high the entire time cause of meds. At one point I'm going at it with her and I had to stop to reach for my pants to get this steriod inhaler my doctor gave me cause I couldn't breathe. After I hit the inhaler twice, I accidently dropped it and hit her on the head.

About half way through it, she stops and she asked me where I wanted to cum, I was like "on the xbox ha ha". She didn't think that was funny, but I laughed.

So the moment arrives, and I go for the back. Which was interesting. Anyway, I'm doing my thang and when I go I yell out "FOR GREAT JUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" do my thing, and get off the ride.

So I go into the bathroom, wash up, and come out and she goes "What was that?"

I'm like "What?"

"For great justice?"

"Oh, that's just a thing I do."

"... I see."

She goes into the bathroom to do the same. She's in there for a few minutes, comes out and asks me if I want anything before I go. I tell her I got everything I need and to hit me up if she ever wants a PS3. She laughs, and then me and my boy dip.

I don't think that chick was an anal virgin. Frankly, I'm disapointed.

White women are stupid.

Merry Christmas, mother fuckers.


*certain things edited to protect the innocent.*

Classified under: anal, X-Box 360

An entire town celebrates Festivus

There seems to be a book as well. Click here to see it

Classified under: Festivus,

Surely a sign that the apocalypse is nigh

Three words:

Brady Bunch Kung-Fu

Yes, now you can control your favorite Brady Bunch character as they kick the ass of the others in a tournament fighting game on your cell phone. Finally, Jan get back at Marcia for hogging all the attenting.

And don't forget Alice:


Classified under: video games, The Brady Bunch

I like it when geek culture clashes

I always like it when geek culture mixes. Now granted there were some cases where it was total shit but that doesn't really count because it was merely a transference of a geek culture into another medium. What I really like is when geek culture references another geek culture, in some ways it validates a wholeness of the community.

I should mention despite the tag giving away the surprise, it is still completely work safe...unless your boss seems to look down upon seeing video game news at work. Even worst if they know what the internet reference is.

Classified under: goatse, Xbox 360

Arrested Development May Yet Struggle to Life

HUZZAH! Let's pray to the god's of TV (and the patron saint of television too, apparently there is one) that Showtime picks it up. I'd rather ABC not, I don't trust them. But really, I don't care which as long as the show lives on.

Fox still hasn't officially canceled "Arrested Development," but if it does, other networks are interested in the show.
Both ABC and Showtime have had conversations with 20th Century Fox TV and indicated they're open to making a deal for new episodes of the critically beloved, Emmy-winning comedy from creator Mitch Hurwitz. No formal negotiations have taken place, and there are still numerous hurdles that might prevent such a move -- including the show's hefty pricetag.

More here.

Classified under: Arrested Development,television,

Tom-Yum-Goong trailer

I loved the action in Ong Bak, and this looks like it'll be just as awesome... if not more so.

Classified under: Tom-Yum-Goong,Tony Jaa,trailer

Ever wanted to know who would win in a battle of lions and midgets?

I can believe that I'm laughing at midget mutilation, but God help me, it's funny as fuck.

The fight was called in only 12 minutes, after which 28 fighters were declared dead, while the other 14 suffered severe injuries including broken bones and lost limbs, rendering them unable to fight back.

Sihamoni was quoted before the fight stating that he felt since his fighters out-numbered the lion 42 to 1, that they “… could out-wit and out-muscle [it].”

Unfortunately, he was wrong.

Classified under: midgets,lions

My Menorah

A little early, but it's always good to spread some Hanuka (yes, there are a million English spellings of this) spirit. Not quite as good as last year's Hanuka song set to Outkast's Hey Ya, but still quality stuff.

Classified under: Hanukkah, Judaica

Trade in your Holy Bible for some Holy Porn

God Bless America. God Bless Porn

Classified under: porn, bible, religion, atheism

X3 trailer is up

My interest for X3 waned after it was announced that Brett Ratner was chosen to direct the movie. Did Rush Hour set the world on fire? The only damage that it did was to my brain, my soft watery brain. Checking out the trailer, I was pleasantly suprised by how decent it looked. Eagle eyed nerds will notice that Beast is wearing a jacket similar to Grant Morrison's run, Juggernaught dressed up in what Stephen has dubbed "superhero fetish gear", (I'm paraphrasing, but it's close to that) and a dead X-Men. I'm betting on either Cyclops, Angel or Professor X. Or how about all of them? That'll kill the franchise, fuckers.
Classified under: X-Men,trailers

The Decemberists' "16 Military Wives" Video

This music video for the Decemberists positively bleeds with Wes Anderson-ness. (That's a good thing)It feels very Rushmore, and I can hear Alec Baldwin's voice in my head when I read the many subtitled narration points.
But it's also got a great political message behind it delivered with sly wit.
I love the Decemberists to begin with, but this video is one of the best I've seen in recent years. So please, do yourself a favour and watch it.

Classified under: Decemberists,music video

Spike Jonze Gap Ad

OK, I'm not lying here, when I say that I literally said "Wow!" when I saw this ad. Spike Jonze is the man, and this is such a great ad. It's basically just saying Gap is changing their look, but it's also kind of a cool "fuck you" to Gap at the same time as it's advertising for them. You HAVE to see it.
(It's a Quicktime .mov, courtesy of Hollywood Elsewhere)


Classified under: Spike Jonze,advertising,Gap

Battle Raper has NOTHING on Line Kill Spirits

Seriously nothing is better than getting a great string on combos to lay on the hurt on an opponent in a fighting games. Unless it's Line Kill Spirits where you could takes pictures "mid-combo" of your opponents panties and also get rated for it at the same time.

Classified under: fighting games, panties

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest trailer

Click to watch the new trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. I'm not sure where I stand on the anthropomorphic sea creatures as villains thing... and one of the evil skeleton pirates appears to be on the same side as Will Turner this time around... but I keep telling myself that skeleton pirates were pretty out there too. At the very least it looks like it'll be fun.

Classified under: Pirates of the Caribbean,trailer,movies

The (Not-So) Secret History of Aeon Flux

OOoooOoOOoooh. It's a comic strip detailing the history of the character Aeon Flux! Check it out.

Classified under: Aeon Flux,cartoon

Pussy Map

You MUST see the picture in this link.

Classified under: webjunk,sex